Words Worth Repeating
Naz Singh, who was born in Iran shortly before the Islamic Revolution, did not know she was Jewish until she was nine years old and living in the United States. Though she could practice Judaism openly, she “still had no clue what was going on.” Years later, when Naz and her son attended a Purim puppet show sponsored by The Partnership for Jewish Learning and Life, she saw “who she could be as a Jew in America.”
Naz shared her personal Jewish journey at The Partnership’s 10th Birthday Bash last May. The story of how one simple yet profound experience offered by our community led her to ongoing and meaningful connections to the Jewish people are certainly Words Worth Repeating.
A speech from The 10th Birthday Bash for The Partnership for Jewish Learning and Life
Delivered by Naz Singh on May 31, 2016
My name is Naz. Actually, that’s a nickname for Sarvenaz. I was two years old when the Islamic Revolution took over Iran. By that time my family was following Islamic laws and by the age of five I was enrolled in an all-Muslim public school. Islam was the main religion that my friends and I knew as children growing up in Iran. But when I was away from my friends, my family went to my grandmother’s home on some Friday evenings, descending the stairs into her basement. We lit candles and followed rituals that I was not allowed to speak of with my friends.
I did not know what it meant to be Jewish until I was nine years old and we came to America. Only then did my mom explicitly tell me that we were Jews. Only then did she explain why we lit candles and why we lit them in the basement. It was not safe being Jewish or practicing Judaism in Iran because at that time the country was steadfast on becoming an Islamic Republic. As Jews, we were not safe to practice our religion openly and faced being arrested if we tried to do so.
Even though we were now free to be Jews in America, I didn’t like it. I couldn’t understand anything about it and it was not fun. But I went through the motions. Going to family Seders – check. Getting together for Rosh Hashanah – check.
When my husband, who is half Hindu and half Christian, and I decided to marry, we went through those motions, too. We opted for the “Jewish package” at a Las Vegas wedding chapel. That meant that they threw in a canopy, a rabbi, and a glass to break. Now I went as half of a couple to Passover Seders and to synagogue on the High Holidays. I still had no clue what was going on and being Jewish was irrelevant to me.
When I became pregnant I realized that I needed to figure this out. This was no longer about just me as an individual or about us as a couple – we were going to be a family. Despite my ambivalence until that point, I wanted to raise our child as a Jew. This was more than just a decision. This was a declaration! My Judaism was stolen from me when I was a child. I deserved that gift, and now I wanted to reclaim it for my child. My husband agreed and was fully supportive of my decision. And so we went to look for a synagogue. I found myself trying to observe some Shabbat rituals, but I was the only one among the other moms in the community who was interested. It was lonely and really hard.
By the time our son Brian was nine months old, I was about to give up. But then I saw that The Partnership for Jewish Learning and Life was sponsoring a puppet show about Purim at a local movie theater in Montclair. So we went. We loved it! My first real lesson about Purim was taught to me by a puppet in Montclair. My first real understanding of who I was as a child in Iran and who I could be as a Jew in America came to me in the modern-day telling of the ancient Purim story – which took place in Iran! The Partnership brought me full circle.
The Partnership sponsored another event at the Golda Och Academy where I signed up for PJ Library and it was through The Partnership’s PJ Library events that I was invited to many other events and made Jewish friends who invited me into their homes. When Brian was 18 months old, The Partnership’s Jewish Family Concierge introduced me to a Jewish early childhood program at a synagogue in Montclair. Not long before this I was at the point in my life where I was resigned to putting Brian into any fine preschool where he would celebrate Christmas with his friends and be as clueless as I would be when we would attend my family’s Passover Seders. But The Partnership took me on a journey and helped me navigate every step. Today we celebrate Shabbat every Friday night. I even told my au pair when we hired her that she will have to work late on Fridays to help me prepare for hosting our guests at our Shabbat meals.
Today I’m familiar with all the Jewish holidays. I keep a list of them and their dates on my refrigerator door. And I’m also proud to tell you that just a few weeks ago I hosted the first Passover Seder ever for my family. I did it. And it made sense to me. And it was fun!
The Partnership’s Jewish Family Concierge knows me and is aware of the complexities of my life. She helps me harmonize my life and my Judaism. My inner child, who was devoid of a Jewish soul, now feels nurtured. The Partnership gave the gift of my Judaism back to me, and in doing so, gave it to my child. Hopefully this gift will carry forth for many generations.
Post-Script
The Partnership for Jewish Learning and Life (The Partnership) empowers others to bring Jewish learning to life along their individual and communal Jewish journeys. After a decade as a Federation agency, The Partnership merged with the Federation on July 1, 2016, becoming a department of Federation. The merger recognizes the connection between the work of The Partnership and the priorities of Federation and provides greater opportunities for Jewish identity-building and Jewish community-building throughout Greater MetroWest. Upcoming family programs can be found on the JFamily Calendar: www.jfedgmw.org/jfamily. For more information, call (973) 428-7400.