Words Worth Repeating

When Mindy Kahn became involved in Jewish Federation as a young 20-something new to the Greater MetroWest community, she never would have guessed that, years later, she and her family would become beneficiaries of Federation’s services. But Mindy’s story of moving from the role of Federation donor to that of recipient is familiar and teaches us a valuable lesson.

Mindy serves on Federation’s Board of Trustees and has been an active fundraiser for our UJA Annual Campaign for years. Over the years, she has taken on a variety of leadership roles, ranging from involvement in Young Leadership and with the fundraiser Super Sunday to the Strategic Priorities Council and Unified Allocations Council.

A medical emergency, however, prompted Mindy and her family to seek Federation’s help for themselves. Mindy shared her insights on this experience with members of the Greater MetroWest community at Federation’s Connecting the Dots program, an evening of personal stories that kicked off our 2018 UJA Annual Campaign, held at Congregation Ohr Shalom in Summit in October. We thought her remarks were Words Worth Repeating. We’re sure you’ll agree.

Every year around Super Sunday my father-in-law, Ivan Kahn, who had been a generous supporter of the UJA Annual Campaign for many years, would ask me whether their gift was enough. What did other people give? Should they give more? What’s a good number? He would give because he wanted to support the Jewish community and help those in need, but he never imagined that he would need the help of Federation himself.

And then, last November, Ivan had a very serious accident in his home and ended up in the Trauma ICU at Morristown Hospital. It was a very scary time for my husband, Arlen, his mother, Enice, and the whole family. Would he even survive his injuries? And if so, what would come next? We were filled with uncertainty and dread.

Then Ivan met Debbie Pfeiffer, a chaplain with the Greater Metrowest Joint Chaplaincy Committee, who ended up having a tremendous and unexpected impact on the family. The role of the chaplain is to provide spiritual and pastoral care and guidance to patients and their families. She and Ivan had lengthy, meaningful conversations that helped him come to terms with his situation. He looked forward to her regular visits and the two of them shared a truly special relationship of mutual interests and respect. She gave him something to look forward to during his two months in the hospital. Ivan had always liked to talk, and even with his mouth wired shut, Debbie was a truly outstanding listener.

But Debbie didn’t just help Ivan. Her visits took the pressure off of Arlen and Enice, providing them with much-needed support and respite. After Ivan was moved to rehab at Daughters of Israel, Debbie continued to check in and to visit when she could.

We lost Ivan in March. Debbie came to his funeral, as did Rabbi Asekoff, the chaplain Ivan connected with during a subsequent hospital stay at St Barnabas. But this wasn’t the end of the relationship with Debbie. She continues to check in with Enice and Arlen, and just recently called before Rosh Hashanah to offer her support and to wish all a happy new year.

Enice was just at Morristown hospital two weeks ago, supporting a close friend whose husband was not well. The friend was struggling with how to navigate a difficult issue at the hospital, and Enice was relieved to find Debbie in the chaplains’ office. She introduced the two, and Debbie was able to intervene on her friend’s behalf. The chaplains provided by the Joint Chaplaincy Committee are an invaluable resource in our community – and they are a resource most of you wouldn’t even know about until someone you love is hospitalized.

Our family are committed supporters of Federation and we give as generously as we can to the Annual Campaign. We never expected to need the services of Federation, but the experience we had with Chaplaincy and with Debbie Pfeiffer has shown us that we all will probably need a helping hand from time to time in our lives. Debbie was a bright spot for our family in an otherwise very difficult year. And for that we are all truly grateful. Thank you very much for supporting Federation and for making programs like this possible.