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King Kong and Counting Our Blessings

By Rabbi Michael Jay

In the most recent remake of King Kong there is an extraordinary scene. Kong, the oversized gorilla, has had a very long day. He has fallen in love in what seems to be an unworkable relationship with a woman about 1/10th of his size. He has fought dinosaurs, and the elements, and he has been shot at relentlessly by humans trying to save his pint sized love interest. All of this is seemingly a normal day in the life of the giant ape.

However, at some point Kong grabs the girl and starts to run. At first it seems as if he is running away from his day. It appears that he is trying desperately to get away from the vicious animals and guns and running for cover. 

But soon it becomes apparent that he is not running away from anything. Rather, he is running toward something. And as the scene continues, there is a sense of urgency in his face and his body language. He climbs a mountain. We see ruins of what must have once been a proud and glorious civilization of which he is the sole, beaten and scarred, survivor. He scurries through the ruins rushing purposefully to his destination and then he simply sits on a cliff.

And then we see where he had been heading. King Kong, the beast; a Mr. Hyde on steroids who expresses nothing but unbridled rage, is purposefully sitting down on a ledge to calmly and serenely watch the sunset. It is a ritual that he presumably does every day. 

The great beast is a softy for a beautiful girl and a beautiful sunset.

But what is really happening here? What is the lesson behind the story? I would propose that Kong is looking for the good in an otherwise dreadful day. Seeking the silver lining. Despite all that has happened, the beast is counting his blessings. No matter how miserable his daily existence, no matter how lonely he is, no matter how many people or animals try to make his life a challenge, he knows that whatever else may be going on, when it is sunset, he will be punching the clock and watching that ball of fire go down. And if that sunset is the only thing he has in his world that brings him joy, he recognizes it and seeks it out.

King Kong is expressing gratitude for what he has; he is grateful for the seemingly little things in his life. Even if the only little thing he has is a daily sunset.

According to Rabbi Irwin Kula of the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership (CLAL), there is probably no more important thing for our own personal happiness than developing an attitude of gratitude. He points out three critical things about gratitude (I am paraphrasing in close form from a video that Rabbi Kula made about two years ago and posted on a website called “Mincha Moments.” I recommend that you go to this website and watch Rabbi Kula’s video; it is transformative):

1) Gratitude is a choice. Some people can have everything and have no sense of gratitude, while there are folks who have nothing but are grateful for the little that they do have. If it is a choice, then we need to learn how to make the choice to be grateful. 

2) If gratitude is a choice, then it is also a skill that needs to be developed. We need to study the art of being grateful. The question must then be asked: “How does one practice gratitude?” Our tradition actually provides a perfect program designed to do just this.

Rabbi Kula explains that the Rabbis told us that we should make 100 blessings a day. Imagine what a day would be like if we found 100 reasons during the course of that day to say, “Hey that’s great!” If we were capable of doing this, we would actually become skilled practitioners of gratefulness.

In the Jewish tradition a blessing is designed to help us to see the wonder that exists in the world around us. If we are “blessing,” we cannot ignore. It forces us to take stock of the things that happen as they are happening. For instance, if, each time we eat an apple, we say a blessing over it, we are more likely to appreciate that beautiful piece of fruit. Thus, by saying blessings we are teaching ourselves to have gratitude.

Counting our blessings, and having a paradigm within which to do so will provide a great start to becoming more grateful but there is one more step to look at.

3) Rabbi Kula’s third and, I think, most important point, is that we need to learn how to be grateful for the “partial.” The requirement of perfection is the enemy of being grateful. Too often we have the attitude that “if we do not get it all; if we only get a piece, we cannot be grateful.” I know that I fall prey to this all too common human condition.

It would be wonderful to have everything; it would be wonderful to get everything; it would be wonderful to always win. But the truth is that, for most of us, life is not this way. Life is a series of peaks and valleys; highs and lows, good and bad. The real gift is to learn to recognize this. We need to accept the imperfections of our lives but, at the same time, we need to revel in the good things that happen, even if they are simple. In short, we need to be happy with the partial. 

And this brings us back to our friend King Kong. Remember the bad day, the bad love, the enemies, and the guns? Well, certainly it was not perfect, but Kong knew to take time out of his day to be happy with the partial. That sunset did not fix his problems, but his ability to be grateful for it gave him some relief from his other troubles. It was a blessing and a gift that he gave to himself.

My hope this year is that we all can take this lesson to heart; learn to have an attitude of gratitude. We can always strive for more, but we need to enjoy those things that are actually within our grasp. May this be the year that we learn to accept the partial and to always count our blessings, including the Greater MetroWest community and Federation and its partner agencies, in which we live.

L’Shana Tova U'metukah Tikateivu. May you be inscribed for a good and sweet new year. 

Rabbi Michael S. Jay of Caldwell is religious leader of the JCC of Long Beach Island.